O BROTHER, THOU ART HERE!

Separated half-century ago, siblings are united

BY EILEEN SOLER 
Special to The Herald 

They walk, talk and laugh alike. 

Their faces are nearly identical, from gray bushy eyebrows
to salt-and-pepper beards. 

Two brothers who never knew the other existed met eye to
eye for the first time, bonding like puzzle pieces in a perfect
hug at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport.

``What I'm feeling is indescribable,'' said Christopher Powell,
49, of Guerneville, Calif., seconds after stepping off an
airplane to embrace his newfound sibling, Richard P. Girard,
50, of Oakland Park.

``If this is possible, anything is possible,'' said Girard, his
eyes filling with tears.

The two men, born 11 months apart at Miami's Jackson
Memorial Hospital, were put up for adoption shortly after
Powell's birth in 1951, said Lynn-Marie Carty, director of
Reunitepeople.com who brought the brothers together Thursday evening.

The boys grew up in separate families, reared coincidentally
by fathers who were pilots stationed in Hawaii and then in
Southern California. They knew they were adopted but
neither had a hint of the other.

Carty, a former legal investigator from St. Petersburg whose
two-year-old company boasts 97 united families so far, said
Powell called the business two weeks ago in search of his
birth mother.

A two-day probe into hospital and adoption agency records
did not turn up the mother or father but gave substantial
clues to get started. In most adoption cases, Carty said,
such concrete data as names and forwarding addresses are
stricken from public records.

Carty's investigation, however, did reveal the Jan. 16, 1951,
birth date of a sibling.

Scrolling though Internet reunion sites, Carty found Girard,
born on the same date in the same hospital -- and also in
search of his birth mother. ``Everyone is findable, everyone
has a paper trail. You just have to be tenacious,'' Carty said.
``I get chills all over my body when I bring families together.''

On July 25, Girard and Powell spoke via a four-hour
telephone conversation. 

``We were both just so ecstatic,'' said Girard, a signmaker.
``I'm finally a big brother.''

Powell, a retired Ford Motor Credit agent, said he looks
forward to a close relationship with his brother. ``It will be
easy,'' Powell said. ``Rich and I are so much alike. I can tell
this is meant to be.''

Girard and Powell found many similarities in their
personalities -- they were rebellious teens, both are
smokers, they are private people but enjoy parties and their
signature tempers have mellowed with age. Both began
looking for their mother in 1989. Both hope their mother will
read newspaper accounts of their getting together and come
forward.

Anyone with information can call Carty at 727-384-3463 or
e-mail findthem@reunitepeople.com
(c) 2001 The Miami Herald and wire service sources. All Rights Reserved.

October 7, 2001  

Dear Lynn-Marie,

 After I lost my husband of almost 19 years in January of 2001, I knew my life would never he the same. I had never felt more alone or scared in my life. Thank goodness I was blessed with the most Wonderful of friends to see me through that traumatic time.

It's funny in a way but the thing I kept obsessing on the most was the fact that my obituary would read "No known survivors". We had no children and I am the only child of adoptive parents who are in there 80's and in failing health. I really don't expect to have them around much longer either. I had this sense that I truly would be all alone in the world.

Then you, my dear friend, my angel, saw or felt the need to intercede on my behalf and take rue under your wing. You guided me towards an even greater blessing with your diligence and heart-felt hard work. Your mission was to calm my fear that I would not ever be alone in the world My prayers and yours were answered.

I had always been slightly curious about my biological family and not for the most common reason which is usually medical background. I had mundane curiosities such as where do I get my height from and where do I get my combination of green eyes and blond hair and of course if I had any half brothers or sisters. You worked long and hard through mountains of paperwork to answer those and many more questions for me.

Thanks to you I now can proudly claim a full blooded, older sister and older brother. If people only knew how many years as a child I had wished for one or the other and now I have both!!! The feeling is truly indescribable. I feel connected again to life. I also finally have the answer as to what happened and why I was given up for adoption. As an adult myself I know the things that we can face and it was a wise choice on my biological parents to give me to the wonderful family I have known all my life. They are and always will be my mom and dad.

As for my biological siblings, they are now a very important focus in my life. They have welcomed me with open arms and that is worth it's weight in gold. I was afraid they wouldn't want to get to know me or wouldn't like me for whatever reason but that has been the furthest thing from the truth. They are wonderful people with wonderful spouses and even better, lots of wonderful children. I can now boast 10 nieces and nephews of my very own! No more fear of the "No known survivors" obituary.

Keep up the good work at Reunitepeoplecom. I have read some of the awe inspiring stories of reunions that have taken place at the hands of your hard work and diligence. You have a gift and a tenacity like no other and there is no doubt in my mind that thousands of folks out there will benefit from your kind and good-hearted spirit which is so very much a part of you.

Good luck and god bless because you are truly one of his angels.

 Sincerely (oh, that almost sounds to formal) with all my love,

 Missy Malor

 missymalor@aol.com

Texarkana Man Reunites With Daughter After 26 Years 

Gary Clark and his family walked into Shreveport Regional Airport Sunday afternoon, full of anticipation. The Texarkana man was just minutes away from meeting his long lost daughter, Dana. Everyone in the group was wearing name
tags: "Grandmother", "Brother", "Cousin Nicole". The nametags are needed because Dana is deaf from a childhood illness. 
Word came that Dana's flight had landed. People began walking out of the concourse. Gary waited and watched. "Is that her?," someone asked. "I don't know!," he replied. It was. At 4:45 pm, Dana walked toward a family she's never really known. Her grandmother couldn't wait and ran to hold the little girl she last saw at just six
months old. And then, Dana and her father embraced. Unfortunately, none of the people in the group know sign language.
Grandmother Marie Clark pointed to her nametag to make sure Dana knew who she was. "I mean, this a miracle, really, after 26 years," Dana's father said. Dana spent eight years trying to find her Dad and recently enlisted the help of a
talk show which found him for her. Wanting to communicate to -us- she wrote this brief message: "Its great to see Dad and family." "I prayed and prayed to try to find her," Dana's grandmother said. "I wondered and I prayed that she'd be alright and her grandfather did too, and he died and never got to see her." Dana will visit for two weeks. Until they can find someone who knows sign language that can help, they plan to use pen and paper to communicate.

Lost then found

Then, in September, at her home near Atsugi, where her husband is a civilian worker, she e-mailed a woman at ReunitePeople.com, an Internet company that seemed to have great success finding people. Some months and $1,850 later, she was on the phone with her apparent son, a 35-year-old, divorced salesman who loves to read, has traveled overseas and lives in Las Vegas. “I just said, ‘Hi. I’m your birth mother,’” Dutton said. “He said, ‘I always knew you’d find me.’”

There’s been no DNA test, but something almost as good, in addition to the dates, names and places all matching up. “I asked him what color his eyes were,” Dutton said. “He said they’re blue-gray, and they seem to change color with what he wears or his moods. Like mine. I call them ‘mood eyes.’

Then a photo he e-mailed, of himself in Alaska holding a big fish, confirmed it. “He looks like his sister. He has that same nose, the same smile. He asked me, ‘Do you have any doubts?’ Maybe at first, I did. But not now; in my heart, I don’t. There are too many similarities. He’s my son.”

Showtime

Dutton flew off to California, husband in tow and other family members in a tizzy, last Wednesday. Her ex-husband is unhappy, she said; her daughter is stressed and her former in-laws, all in Orange County, Calif., think she must be insane. Because, if it all works out, Dutton will meet her son for the first time on a taping of the Dr. Phil Show on Wednesday, her son’s 36th birthday.

“All these years, I’ve seen reunions on shows,” she said. “And I thought, ‘Why isn’t that me? Why isn’t anyone helping me?’”

Dutton, a candid woman with a wry sense of humor who teaches English to Japanese people in her home, said she wanted to share her story, and encourage others like her to find their birth children. Plus, she said, she wouldn’t mind a little pampering from the show — a nice hotel, maybe a limo ride, possibly some money.

Her ex-husband and daughter weren’t so thrilled with the idea of going on the show, she said. Her apparent son, however, sounded like his mother. “If someone wants to film me being reunited with my birth mom, that’s fantastic,” David Garner said in a phone interview.
 

Adopted life

Garner, who grew up with an adopted sister in Washington state, seemed to be taking the mother-son reunion in stride. “The funny thing about this whole thing is everybody I talk to seems to want to sensationalize it,” Garner said. “My life’s been an adventure, so this was kind of how things go. Sometimes, I feel like I’m not shocked and surprised enough for everyone.”

Garner said that all he’d ever known about his birth mother was that she was 15 when he was born. “I never felt a particular emptiness,” he said. “I have a great family.”

Garner is one of an estimated 5 million to 8 million people in the United States who’ve been adopted, according to the American Adoption Congress in Washington, D.C., although statistics are unreliable, because adoption records are scattered, incomplete and lost, and court records are usually sealed and inaccessible.

Dutton’s husband, Rick, said he supported her quest, in part, because he was adopted. “I know what it’s like,” he said.

Birth records began to be sealed in the 1940s, when social workers and judges decided that secrecy would protect all parties involved, according to the American Adoption Congress. In the mid-1970s, it became more socially acceptable for people involved in adoptions to seek out kin.

Only six states — Alaska, Alabama, Delaware, Oregon, Tennessee and Kansas — provide adult adoptees with original birth certificates containing their parents’ names. Other states provide “non-identifying information,” such as age and occupation, and a few allow adoptees to see who their parents were if consent has been given.

Lynn-Marie Carty, of ReunitePeople.com, has managed to find hundreds of long-lost relatives. “If we have a date of birth, that helps a lot,” Carty said. “We try every trick in the book until something works. Sometimes, information on the records is purposely false. We love it when we crack those cases.”

Dutton mailed a figurine of an angel to Carty in thanks. “Since I found my son,” she said, “everything I do is perfect. … I want to be best of friends with him and be involved in his life,” she said. But if that doesn’t happen, she added, that, too, will be OK.

Dutton wasn’t the only one who’d always wondered and worried about the baby James, and who was joyous when he was found. “When I told my mother, she was so happy,” Dutton recalled. “She said she always remembered leaving him at the adoption agency in his little carrier, and she always thought it was her fault. So this is a good thing. As far as I’m concerned, whatever happens after this is a bonus.”

   It began Friday in front of film crews, photographers and a roomful of teary-eyed onlookers.
   The family's tale of how members found one another is the stuff movies are made of.
   In the summer of 1961 in Chicago, 21-year-old Patsy Davis walked out on an abusive marriage with a broken jaw and six scared children.

   She said to save her life and theirs, she sought help from a lawyer in giving up the four youngest children for adoption. Between July and October 1961, 3-year-old twins Roy and Rick, 2-year-old Ray and 4-year-old Deborah Jean were adopted by three different families.

   Davis asked the attorney to ensure the children's first names remained the same. She knew eventually she would look for them and thought it would be easier to find them if they were using their given names.

   On Nov. 3, 1961, with her two eldest daughters in tow, Davis left Chicago and four of her children behind, for her parents" home in Mississippi.

   "That was the best I could do for them," she said. "I think they understand. If I had to do it over again and circumstances were the same, I'd have to do it, for their sake."

   Theresa Williamson, the eldest, has few memories of those terrible days in Chicago. She remembers babysitting younger siblings who suddenly disappeared.

   Donna May, the second eldest, remembers only the beatings she and her siblings suffered at the hands of their father, who has been out of their lives since the day they left. She grew up feeling that parts of her were missing.

   "I have no good memories," May said.
  
An Accidental Reunion
   Back in Chicago, twins Rick and Roy Brewczynski were raised by loving adoptive parents. They always knew they were adopted, but they knew of no other blood siblings.

   Rick said that when he was 17, he walked into a Spencer Gifts store in a Chicago mall and he bumped into a teenager who was his mirror image - more so than his twin brother. He had found his youngest brother, Ray.

   "The very next day we got together," Rick said. "We were rebellious teenagers then. It was a very tense time."
   It would be 20 years before the twins and Ray would find their birth mother. Rick's wife, Terri Brewczynski, launched an Internet search and they heard from someone who knew Patsy Davis, now Patsy Loper, remarried and widowed twice.

   For more than 20 years, Loper had been searching for her children. But sealed records led her to numerous dead ends.
   "It almost killed me for 41 years," Loper said.
   Then, in September 1999, just as Loper was about to give up hope, her boys called.
   "I think I lost my mind that day," Loper said. "I couldn't sit down. As soon as I sat down, I'd get up and walk the floor."

   On Nov. 3, 1999, exactly 38 years after she left Chicago, Loper and her two eldest daughters were reunited with Rick and met his wife for the first time.

   "We had a six-day party," Rick said. "It was such a great time."
   It was during that meeting Rick would learn that for his mother and sisters, the celebration was incomplete. They were still missing one child, a redhead named Deborah Jean.

   Friday's celebration at Gators Cafe & Saloon in Treasure Island was all about Deborah Jean. The last missing piece of the family's puzzle had been found.

   After the initial reunion with their mother and siblings, Rick and Terri launched a massive Internet search for Deborah Jean Davis.

   More than 100 investigators would try to find the little redheaded girl. None succeeded.
   Then this year, St. Petersburg private investigator Lynne Marie Carty of Reunitepeople.com came across the family's pleas online and decided to take the case for free.

   Carty learned that Deborah Jean was adopted by a family in Brooklyn and her name had been changed.
   Carty mailed letters to every woman in Brooklyn who was born Jan. 14, 1957. The letters included copies of the last pictures the family had of Deborah Jean and a plea to call Carty if anyone thought she was the missing girl.

  
"My Name Is Deborah Jean Davis'
          Two days later, Carty got a telephone message: "My name is Deborah Jean Davis. ... I have a family looking for me."
 DNA tests conducted by the Tampa company dnatesting.com proved the caller, 45-year-old Penny Lewis, indeed was Deborah Jean Davis.  "They didn't forget me," Lewis said through tears Friday night. "All my life I wondered, "Does anyone wonder what happened to Deborah Jean?" Now I know."

          Accompanied by her daughter and adopted mother, Lewis met her biological family for the first time Friday. They shared endless hugs and kisses and stared into faces that resemble one another. It was a scene that brought silence to a noisy bar and made grown men wipe away tears. Lewis presented Loper 41 roses, one for each year they were apart.
  
Together Again
   "I feel like a whole person," Loper said, with five of her six children encircling her. The youngest, Ray, could not make the reunion. It was also the first time since the adoption that Loper met Roy face to face. They had been in contact on the phone since 1999.

   "It's hard to describe, almost disbelief," Roy said. "I didn't know about most of these people until a couple years ago."

   Terri added: "Now's a time to start building new memories."
   The owners of Gators donated their restaurant and an expansive beachfront home for the family's reunion at the request of Carty. The siblings say they will continue to get acquainted with one another until they leave town this evening.

   A television crew with Paramount Pictures is filming the reunion for "Life's Moments," to air on NBC and the Hallmark Channel.

   "I'm so overwhelmed," Penny said. "I look at these faces and they are mine. There are no words to describe this."